We were in Idaho visiting for my youngest brother's wedding. It had been a long, tiring week preparing for that event so we were happy that we had a couple of days after that to rest up for our return journey home to Houston. The day started out perfectly and our first flight from Boise to Salt Lake went flawlessly and Nate was an angel. He's gotten so good at flying.
We landed in Salt Lake with just enough time to grab a sandwich before boarding our connection flight from there to Houston. Nate and I were lucky enough to be seated in the 6th row. I love being close to the front of the plane because once we land Nate thinks we should de-board immediately and that gets hard when you're in the 30th row. So we got settled into our seats and I checked the time and was elated we would be home on time! This rarely happens for us. We began to taxi to the runway for takeoff while the steward and stewardesses did their "In the event of an emergency" presentation. I remember thinking, "I should have this memorized by now because I've flown so much. So should Nate. I should pay attention...next time. Nothing ever happens." So I busied myself with getting snacks and toys within reach for the 3 hour flight home.
We had been in the air for about an hour and the beverage service was beginning when Nate laid his head in my lap and started to get drowsy. Score! He was going to sleep! Even if it's just for a few minutes I pray he'll sleep. Things were going really well. I closed my eyes, reclined my seat and tried to get comfortable. I open my eyes when I see the beverage cart being rushed back to it's spot and the steward gets on the sound system and makes an announcement. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are heading back to Salt Lake."
I was livid! I hate airports and Nate only has so much in him to be a good boy. Once he's tired flying with him can be very hard. There was an audible groan throughout the cabin as the rest of the passengers processed this information. No one was very happy. Without warning, almost immediately after the announcement, the nose of the the plane dipped. We were going down at such an angle that everyone started looking around to see if everyone else had noticed. We began to gain speed as we were pressed into the backs of our seats. Everyone had white-knuckle grips on the arm rests as the noise of our acceleration filled the cabin. Something was very wrong. We went on like this for what seemed like forever. I stroked Nate's hair and begged him not to notice and stay in my lap. We'd be falling for about 5 minutes when a loud crack filled the cabin. I stared at the oxygen masks hanging from the ceiling in front of me. There was no denying it now, we were going down. The confusion and noise forced Nate up to see what was going on. I couldn't make sense of what was happening until I looked across the aisle and saw the masks on my neighbor's faces. With my hands shaking almost uncontrollably, I place the mask on Nate's face (I know I'm supposed to do mine first, but that wasn't in my thoughts at the moment). I tightened the straps around his little face and then proceeded to put my own on. After that I wrapped my arms around Nate and looked down at his tiny, calm little body. I realized if I needed him to stay that way I had to keep it together. Show no fear and be brave for him. He calmly took big breaths. Maybe this was because he wasn't fully awake yet, but he was so brave and all of the commotion didn't seem to be bothering him. We continued to fall for another 10 minutes or so and we knew the ground was getting closer. We couldn't see out our windows due to smoke and clouds outside the plane. The woman sitting in the window seat across from Nate and I removed her mask and said, "We've lost an engine." At that point I panicked. I hate to admit it, but I did. I wasn't strong enough for myself, let alone my son. Quietly, I couldn't help it, tears started to run down my face and my breathing became quick and shallow. Nate looked up at me and saw my reaction. I could see the worry come across his face and he began to get nervous.
At this point, I had a million things, fragmented thoughts, running through my head. What do I do for Nate? Should I throw my body on top of his? Will he remember how I couldn't keep it together if he survives? I've never known what it felt like to have no control of my child's safety up to that point. It was terrifying. He had so much more ahead of him and he's too beautiful and special not to be here anymore. What if I survived and he didn't? That thought crippled me. I was aware, though, of what I believe. If I lost him I knew he would be safe and happy and secure in his salvation. Me on the other hand? I hope so. Thinking about Nate of course got me thinking about the baby still inside me. Five months along. I still didn't know what it was. Was I going to miss out on meeting another little boy? Would I know what it would be like to have a daughter? I felt like it wasn't fair. I have wanted this child so much for a long time and I am not going to get to raise it here on Earth with my husband. My husband... Nate and I were traveling alone. Where would this leave Robert? He would lose everything. I know he'd pick himself back up and continue to live a wonderful life and possibly start over with someone new, but all I could see in my mind's eye was his big blue eyes staring at me. I wanted him with us so bad. I needed him holding me, helping me to be brave. But then I realized it was good that he was safe. He was going to be with us forever no matter what. I was going to be his wife forever, even if I've only been his wife for a short time in mortality. Maybe it was because I'd just attended my brother's sealing, but I was very aware of all the promises and blessings Robert and I had been given the day we'd been sealed. That brought me some peace.
At this point my logical side is screaming at me. There's no way this can end in a crash, that's nuts. That hardly ever happens and for it to happen today on this flight seemed impossible. I was overreacting, I kept telling myself.
We continued to fall and Nate got increasingly nervous. His eyes started to fill and he began clawing at his mask to get it off. We were all getting a little claustrophobic and this point and the steward got on the sound system again and said, "Check your neighbor and make sure they're still with us. Please continue to breath deeply through the mask." That felt like an impossible request as I pulled myself out of my thoughts of just Nate and I and looked around at everyone else around me. People were panicked. In an effort to calm Nate a bit I offered to sing him Primary songs. He seemed to like that and I started to sing, I am a child of God. I couldn't even get the first line out before my throat closed up on me. I knew I couldn't sing so we started to count. It seemed to be helping.
Just when I didn't think Nate would keep his mask on any longer, the steward announced we could take off our masks. The plane slowly began to decelerate. We leveled out as we all let out a sigh of relief. The gentleman across the aisle from me started to talk to Nate and handed him a bag of M&M's for being such good boy. Everyone else around us commented on how well he handled everything. I turned my attention to Nate as I watched him double fisting the candy. I felt a tap on my arm and looked to see the same guy putting his mask back on. I hadn't even heard the announcement to put them back on. I looked at him in disbelief and seriously thought he was teasing. Not a funny joke, I thought. "Seriously", he said,"we have to put them back on." At that moment the plane dipped again. Nate freaked. I quickly put my mask back on and then tried to put on his. He wouldn't have it. He screamed and screamed. I tried pinning his arms so I could loop it over his head but he would shake his head so violently I could not get the mask on. He was so upset he crushed the M&M's in his hands. We went on like this for a while with the guy across the aisle trying to talk to him. "See, it's just like your Halloween mask. Can you put on your Halloween mask?" No luck. The guy seated behind me said, "Would it help if he was in your lap?" Before I knew it Nate was in my lap and the guy behind me was lengthening my belt and buckling us in together. I continued to try to put the mask on him while he screamed, "I just want to take a nap! Can I take a nap, mommy?" I was really upset and crying now. What would happen if I didn't get this mask on him. In my mind at the time I HAD to have that mask on him. I kept looking out the windows only to see nothing. The pilots and stewards were telling us nothing and we all knew the ground was getting closer. How close where we? In the middle of Nate and I struggling the man behind me said, "Just let him pass out. Let him take his nap and then you can just hold the mask on his face." Logical, but it sounded terrible to me. I relinquished my quest to get the mask on his face and let him rest his head on my shoulder. He was so tired and upset. I tried my best to calm him to sleep. I looked around and noticed smoke filling the cabin. We were told to keep the masks on and breath deeply when the smoke started coming in through the masks. The steward told us to keep the mask on and breath that smoke and not the smoke in the cabin. Also, some of the generators from the oxygen masks are falling out of their compartments. Don't touch them, they are very hot. All I could think was, "Great."
Not too much longer the pilot tried to make an announcement. He couldn't get through it. After a couple seconds the co-pilot got on and told us that we weren't going to make it to Salt Lake. We'd have to make an emergency landing in Grand Junction. I felt a little relief until I heard her say we were another 10-15 minutes away from that airport. The way things were going, that short amount of time was way longer than I was comfortable with. Please, just let us make it there.
We did make it. Honestly, I don't remember too much of the landing because Nate was really struggling. He wanted to be done with this experience. We all sighed with relief when we came to a stop and expected to be able to de-plane immediately. We had been told nothing up to this point. We didn't know why any of this had happened and what exactly was wrong with the plane. One of the stewardesses made an announcement when the plane came to a stop. She said we couldn't de-plane due to protocol and we'd have to wait in our seats until further notice. The plane was full of smoke, they turned off any air circulation and all the lights were turned off. Gratefully, they came around and served water to us. Most people called their families at this point and I called Robert to tell him we would be late getting home. He thought I was joking when I told him the story. It wasn't until I sent him a picture of Nate in an oxygen mask that he understood what had happened.
It started to get hot, then it got a lot hotter. We were stuck in the plane for at least another hour and people were getting angry. Nate seemed to be doing okay but I was getting dizzy and really sick. I hadn't eaten enough and was starting to get sick. The combination of heat and pregnancy in a confined space was not going well. No one knew I was pregnant. I watched as the pilots and the stewardesses joked and laughed with each other while standing next to the open cockpit door enjoying the cool air. I was really angry. We couldn't leave our seats and they were up there? It was just lame! I finally said, screw it, and got out of my seat, took Nate's hand and walked up to the open door. I would tell them I was pregnant and was going to be sick if they gave me any grief. Just as we got up there a Grand Junction airport worker came to report to the flight staff. He said it would be a while longer. I wanted to cry. One of the stewardesses said, "No, we aren't waiting any longer. These people aren't going to make it if we ask them to wait any more. Let them off the plane!" I could have hugged her. We all collected our things and got off the plane to be herded into the one terminal, six gates, one vending machine airport.
Once we all got inside they announced that a mechanic would go to our plane, fix the problem, and then we'd re-board and be on our way to Houston. No one was about to re-board that plane! After a two hour wait it was announced that the problem was bigger than expected and the plane was grounded. We could go get a hotel room because there were no flights back to Salt Lake or Boise or on to Houston out of this airport. We were stuck. Luckily, a friend had lent us a DVD player for our trip so I plugged Nate into a movie as we all tried to figure out what we were going to do.
We had no choice but to sit and wait. I got to know everyone pretty well. I had a great time talking with people and they were so good to Nate. He was the only kid on this flight and everyone loved him. He's such a good kid and I really felt lucky to have him with me. They ordered us pizza and we ate while we waited for word. Nate played with his Lightning McQueen toy and raced him down the terminal.
Anyway, our flight home went off without a hitch. We landed at about 2 am. We were all exhausted but I was so excited to see Robert. We practically ran off the plane. Nate saw him and ran an all our sprint into his arms and I had to hold back from doing the same. I was so happy to see him and feel him hug me. Oh, family is so nice.
Although it's not an important part of the story, I do get asked frequently if there was any compensation to the passengers of this flight. No, there has not been. I personally feel like there should be, but there was no offer. Also, we were never able to get a direct answer as to what really happened to the plane. I still don't know. All they told us was there was a small cabin pressure problem that caused the plane to dive and that became a larger problem.
I really feel like the most important thing about this whole post is recognizing the amazing people, who were complete strangers to Nate and I, that pulled us through it all. I want to thank them all even though they'll probably never read this. In fact they've probably already forgotten about us, but we'll never forget them. Thank you to the man across the aisle who shared his candy with Nate. Thank you to the woman who sat in front of him during the flight and spoke to him so kindly. Thank you the man who sat behind me and helped me with Nate and buckled us in together. Thank you to the gentleman who helped me get enough pizza to Nate before it was all gone. Thank you to the lady who check on us to make sure we got enough food. Thank you to the men who talked with me about their families. Thank you to the man who gave advice for me to pass on the Robert about pursuing a PhD and teaching at a collegiate level. Thank you to the guy who had the best sense of humor who made us all laugh and in turn helped the time pass quickly in the airport. Thank you to the man who raced cars and raced Nate down the terminal and thank you for taking time out of your life to watch a silly movie with my 4 year old. These are all amazing people and I feel blessed that I got to spend time with them. I hope that someday they might know how much they touched Nate and I that unbelievable day.