Dear Robert,
First off, I can't believe I have known you for half my life and been married to you for a third of my life. You had a way from the very first time I spoke to you of wiggling your way deep into my thoughts and heart. Granted, at the time, I had no idea what I was feeling and how to interpret them but I knew I needed to have you in my life. At the time all I wanted was a friend and now I've been blessed with so much more.
If there's anything I want to share with you today, on our tenth anniversary, it's that you have been a positive influence in my life from the beginning. If I am a good person today it's because you've been next to me for most of the tough times holding my hand. I am a much more dynamic, charitable and interesting person because of you and I can never adequately thank you. I only hope that in this lifetime and in the eternities I will be able to love you as you need me to love you because you've loved me through the worst and no one could have borne it more beautifully. Of course, we've had a few slip ups and more than our fair share of mistakes and I don't mean to imply that I couldn't have gotten through them without you, I just wouldn't have wanted to go through them without you.
It's hard to narrow down specifics as I look back on all the time we've spent together that illustrate how important you've been to me since the moment I met you. I'm going to try and share a few of the things that stand out to me and hopefully you'll remember them as well. Mostly, these are memories that have helped me realize your positive influence on me.
1. You made me cry when we first met. My mom said you did it because you thought I was cute. Secretly, I hoped that was true. You had this magnetic force around you that drew me to you. I think it had mostly to do with the fact that everyone loved you and laughed when you were around. You always had a smile and your laugh has always been infectious. At that time in my silly adolescence I was afraid to let loose and show who I really was for fear of no one liking me. It was refreshing to be around someone who could be happy no matter what other people thought. I was a little less on edge whenever I was with you and that was a welcome relief. I know what I felt I did to myself but you made it less frightening to not be perfect or what was always expected.
2. When you got home from your mission I scared you to death with an ultimatum. Either we date and get serious fast or we don't waste time on each other. I only feel slightly bad for that today. I'll never forget the way your eyes bugged out of your head. I threw this at you fast because I had already been engaged and thrown around too much emotionally. I needed to be able to trust you wholly from the beginning. To your credit you only took a day to make your decision and it's obvious what that was. You showed me how to take risks on another person. You always treated me so well. I can't say I'd had that in past relationships. You respected me. I know how to treat people I love with respect better than ever because of you. I'd been taught how to treat people growing up, but because I'd been hurt a lot I was forgetting.
3. Before we got married we hit a pretty rough patch. I was afraid you'd had enough of me. It was terrifying because I'd finally met someone who didn't treat me badly and I was going to lose you. Not to mention I was crazy about you. You took some time to consider the situation and after some time away from me came back with all kinds of forgiveness. I think I knew from that point on, that even after we were married, you'd always have and open mind and heart and we'd be able to forgive each other anything.
4. Unfortunately, due to my history, you've become collateral damage more than once. Could there be a more charitable person to help me work through such things? Not for me. You were honest even when it wasn't easy. You held me and didn't say anything until I needed you to. You bore it with patience and love. I still think about the ways you would look at me when the world was crumbling in on me. There was never hardness or frustration. Only compassion and love. I know how to look at people who are struggling now.
5. Sometimes I've painted myself into corners and tried to fib my way out or passively solve the problem. You never give me opportunity to do that. You tell me not to make excuses and face the situation honestly. I hate that! But I love you for teaching me.
6. You are a great father. I can't believe we have 2 kids! We're too young for that! I love how you have more patience with them. I love how you play with them. I love how you convince me to do things I might think are silly so our children get to experience them. I will even hesitantly admit that you've been right about all the games and gizmos our family enjoys. Would we have memories of playing the Wii in Chicago? Would we have Guitar Hero nights? Would our children love to play guitar, drums and sing into a microphone? Maybe we would, but maybe we wouldn't. Thanks for teaching me to not be so serious and to let loose and play with our kids.
7. We've spent all ten years of our marriage waiting for the next step. It's been a lot of fun to travel the country only to live in new places every few years. We've become very adaptable. We've lived in may different regions and I've come to love people all over the country. You've forced me out of my comfort zone for sure! I was so scared and inhibited the first couple of moves, but now I can move anywhere and be friends with anyone.
8. Because we've always been in transition you and I have done a lot of dreaming. It's been so fun to look at possible places to put down permanent roots for our family. Also, to dream of places we can't wait to visit and see, and things we can't wait to expose our children to. When I sit down and think about all our dreams and wishes it makes me realize that our lives will never be stagnant. We'll always be working toward another goal. Reaching for the next great experience and I am glad we'll be doing it together. There was a time that would be scary for me but not anymore because you'll be with me and we've done some much already together.
So here's to our first decade together! We've accomplished a lot but we're not done yet. I hope that all we've experienced thus far is just a drop in the bucket. I want to spend so much more time with you. You've been my best friend for a long time now and I can't imagine any one but you with me forever. Thank you for making me a better version of myself, forgiving the faults and loving the whole package that is me. I love you so much!
Yours always,
Erin
1 comment:
Happy ten years you two. Love you both
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