Ever since Robert and I wanted to have children, we knew we'd be the kind of parents who went to the hospital with the name we were intending on using. I am not one to have to see the child before I name it. When we were trying for Nate we had the name Nathaniel set aside if he was a boy. From the moment we confirmed his sex he was Nathaniel. We've followed the same pattern with this baby. We had a girl name set aside that we loved and could agree on. Girl's names seem to be harder because there's so many. We had a really hard time agreeing.
About a month or so ago I was talking with my sister Liz, who was pregnant with her third (and final) child which happened to be a girl. We got on the subject of names. To my surprise three of their favorites were also on our list of favorites (we hadn't found out the sex of our baby at this point cause she was modest so we still had a list of ideas and hadn't narrowed it down to the one). It was fun to laugh about it and hear why she liked the same names we liked.
After two days of starting and stopping labor, Liz finally had her little girl yesterday night. I was so excited and happy for her because it had been a long road. When I got the call from my mom she told me that they had named their girl Charlotte. That was the one name Robert and I agreed on and were going to use! The second our doctor told us it was a girl we started referring to her as Charlotte. My sister called and told me about how the baby was so sweet and hadn't even cried and they just felt like she was a Charlotte. She was worried that I would be mad, which I am not, I LOVE that name. The only thing that popped into my head was what a mystery our girl's name will be now.
I want to be perfectly clear when I say that I am not upset about the whole situation, I know this is a pretty common thing and there are no rights to names. I love that my sister loved Charlotte enough to use it. Now, Robert and I are sitting on the question, what do we name our little girl? I know a lot of you may think we should just sit on it and discuss names as they come to us. We are and we will, but like I mentioned above, I like to have the name way in advance and we have already been calling her Charlotte since we found out the gender. I start to associate the name with her identity so I feel like I sort of get to know my girl. Extreme feeling, I know, but nonetheless, how I feel. So, after a few talks this is what Robert and I are wondering. Is it terrible to use the same name? My parents would have two granddaughters with the same name only three months apart. We don't live close to them so I don't think there'd be a ton of confusion, but you never know where you'll end up and if we do end up close I worry that would be too much. What do you think? We don't really like the names we had thought of earlier so we are literally back at square one. We thought using Charlotte as a first name and then when we're around my family she could go by her middle name. Also, I'm looking for any suggestions on names. If you're worried about the name thing don't worry about sharing, but if you're done having kids or you have all boys or something like that please throw me a bone! I'm thinking naming kids can be the most stressful part about having them!
So I'd love any thoughts on the subject or if you've run into this problem in your family tell me how you resolved it. Honestly, I think we'll just have to love Charlotte as my sister's daughter's name (Robert does not share my feelings on this, however. He loves the name Charlotte), but maybe with a little help we can figure out a way that we can love it as our daughter's name as well.
16 comments:
I'm so glad you asked! I think you should totally name her Charlotte. I have two cousins on my mom's side named Eric. Both of the sisters really loved the name and had chosen it before discussing it with each other. They are a few months apart as well. It was never an issue. We called them Eric P. and Eric B. It was fine.
Charlotte also lends itself to nicknames that could emerge based on their personalities. This could make it very easy later.
I'd say no, but that is just my opinion. Maybe it could be her middle name?
That's a really hard one. On the one hand, I have multiple family members with the same name (two uncle mikes, two aunt judys, two uncle judds), so I've grown up saying the old uncle mike or the red haired aunt judy. But I've liked having a semi unique name, and dropped the E off the end of my name in 6th grade to distinguish myself from my namesake Grandmother.
When we've discussed names before, John thinks it's no big deal to have two in a family, he's used to not having a unique name.
I guess the main thing is if it will bother you or your sister to have kids with the same name.
originally I would say no but after reading jacki's comment, I think your best bet would be to ask your sister how she felt about it. If she honestly doesn't care then you could go for it.
My brother stole one of our names for our last. We hadn't totally settled yet but it was one of the top ones. We went to the hospital w/out a name. We had a list of about 20 names that we liked (I referred to her as sydney jane the whole pregnancy, eliott didn't love it but I knew I could win so that was what she was to me) So we did the whole bracket system w/ the names and it was fun! She came away being Lydia. Not what we would have decided before she was born but when she was right there, she was not a sydney at all! the funny thing is that all of the other kids we had a name from the get go, so it was just a fun unique situation. So I say if you can't decide 100% don't stress, just enjoy it and have fun w/ it!
Case in point, your husband and mine. The two Roberts aren't a big deal at all. I would just ask your sister what her feelings were on it.
PS I think we think the same way about naming our babies. I like to have it way in advance and I start to associate the name with who my bay is even while they are still in my belly.
And if you still need name ideas, I think Lily is the cutest name ever and it wouldn't bother me at all if you used it.
On my mom's side, I have two Heather and two Michaela cousins. Not a big deal. People used to only use a "hat full" of names (John, Mary, Jane, etc.) so everyone had the same names. Both parents used to have one child (sometimes more) named after them.
I feel the same way. I want to call my baby by its name as early as possible for me and especially my children I already have. Don't feel guilty for having that emotional connection.
You do what you feel and don't feel bad about it.
One of our good friends decided to use the name Henry after they found out that that's what we were going to name our son. I can't deny that I was a little miffed about it. But, really, it doesn't matter that much. We still see and interact with these friends on a regular basis and when they visit, we just call them kids H1 and H2 or use the nicknames that we have for them (they use Peanut and we use Kiddo). I think Lottie is a common nickname for Charlotte. Anyway, I would say just name her Charlotte. To you, that is already what her name is. It doesn't matter if her cousin has the same name or not.
Name her Charlotte. That's what you've been calling her and as long as your sister won't be upset, or even if she is (which she shouldn't be because you previously talked about both liking the name) use it. I love it, btw. It's adorable.
Use Charlotte. I have two cousin Kimberly's...it's no big deal. And when you're together, nicknames are the way to go. Cute name!
My cousins married into a family where her daughter was grandbaby number 56. She told me there are a few boys whose names repeat within those 56 grandchildren. I'm sure it wouldn't be too confusing for your family; I know what it's like to have a name picked out already and feel like your baby has taken on that personality.
However, I also like the suggestion from Jodi to use Charlotte as her middle name. Just have fun thinking of your little girl!
I have about 50 cousins named Landon cause it's a family name, and it doesn't matter at all! Charlotte is great for nicknames, or like you said, you could always use a middle name. Chances are the two cousins will be thrilled to share their special name and be so close in age. I would just make sure the middle name is also one that you really love, in case you do need to use it a lot. Good luck!
Iam giving my 2 thumbs up, if you love the name use it. Just think on the Ross side there will only be one Charlotte. I really like the name and since you told me you were having a girl and liked the name Charlotte I have been referring to her as Charlotte.
Hey Erin! I just found your blog and so I thought I would say hi. Also, what a dilemma! The only thing I know about the subject is that ryan's sister in law had an 8 year old "brielle" and then his sister had a baby and named her "ella" and brielle's mom got really mad because they were so close....which I thought was just ridiculous because they weren't really that close at all! so...I would make sure your sister is okay with it first. and then, do whatever you like!
ps, I love the name charlotte...did you watch pushing daisies? they called her "chuck" and I loved it!
I am really liking Claire right now.
pps, congrats on having a girl! I haven't seen you since you found out. you are going to have FUN!
I was so excited to get a baby shower invite! I had no idea that you would be in town. I'll be there. I'm not sure if Mom will make it or not, she's in and out of the country basically all month, but Dad and I went shopping together today and bought a joint gift. If you don't love it all as much as I do then you're nuts, haha. Almost makes me want another girl.
I know how hard the naming thing can be. If we ever have a boy, we will have a hard time naming him. You can always turn to your favorite novel for ideas. That's how I came to be who I am.
Just please don't make something up that is a weird concoction of Erin and Robert.
P.S. That novel has lots of other great unique names if you feel stuck.
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